Grizabella

I have such random memories; that mall where we first met. The numerous walks to nowhere; when the speed of our walking would be directly proportional to the distance from my door. The conversations we had that I no longer remember, just the look on your face; WhatsApp messages and pictures, Skype conversations to prove you were real.  Travelling around the city to meet me, reading your life story and realising how much you had gone through. Learning about how much you love your family. Seeing your talent, and enjoying the fact that you were sharing it with me. Little nicknames we had for each other. Stolen kisses and walks hand in hand. Working in the same space and stealing looks at each other. Your face lighting up with a smile.

If only it ended there. Or rather continued in the same way… would it be a story we could have shared later on? And built on these small memories that were meaningful to me. But if course, if that were true then I would not be writing this now.  And yet I am.

Why am I doing that?

Because I know myself and I know I am likely to forget the small things and remember only the feeling that I am left with. And sadly, that feeling I am left with is hurt. I want to move on, and hold on to something from what we have shared, and I do not want that feeling I hold on to to be hurt.

I am writing this to remind myself of the good times and the good feelings you brought into my life at a time of severe sadness and loneliness, the time we shared together was meaningful and as I grieve the loss of the relationship, I also rejoice in the positives I got, in the fact that I did something for myself, and for that precious moment of being together.

So, thank you for that, and for the fact that I got through it, showing that … “this too shall pass”.