I have considered myself a feminist for a long while, taking the pains to clarify in my own mind what that means. Many people say they do not agree with the direction that feminism is headed, maybe because they see the visible and the outward expression of such beliefs as women looking for "more power" than men. And in this I include women as well as men. I come from a place where women are considered to have more power than men; in fact there is a "men's liberation" movement that is underfoot from where I come from, and I can understand and see the roots of that movement. This very background that I come from makes it more complicated for me. Maybe I'll talk about that a little later; however I'd just like to put this down that sexism and patriarchy are around us so so much, and so often we do not even realise that it has a hold on us.
This came to me very starkly tonight which is why I decided to put this down. I am living in a hostel in an institute. I have lived in hostels for the past 10 years of my life, in various parts of the country, and each place has had its own regulations that i was expected to follow, which I did. I am by nature a "good girl", I follow rules, listen to authority and sometimes to my own detriment, am unable to assert myself. However, for various reasons, internally I have always believed in the fact that I am no less than anyone else. Everyone tells me different,"You're a girl", "you're from the north east", "You're small"... and so on and so forth. I have had parents who have never let me feel less, and friends who have supported this throughout... That's not to say that I'm foolhardy... no, I'm very careful and can give anyone tips on handling themselves and ensuring that one takes care of oneself...
I'm sorry I digress( Not an unusual situation if you have ever read my blog). Anyway, back to my point... I had to move out of my hostel last year and got alternative accommodation in another hostel on campus. That used to be a co-ed hostel, however when I shifted there along with others, it housed girls and married couples. So a few men, but they were married... now earlier, given that it was a co-ed hostel, anyone could enter it (read=male & female). However, once we shifted there, we were told that we could not have male friends entering. If they were visiting the married couples, then that was fine, however no male was supposed to enter the girls' areas. never mind that these two spaces overlapped. This was however perfectly sensible to the powers that be.
Now back to tonight, I had gone out to visit a friends' place on campus and he dropped me back after i spent the evening with his family. When I entered, I was asked to sign in a register as to the time that I entered the hostel, the time I left, and the reason... This last one flabbergasted me... who decided this was something I was supposed to share? Why was it relevant at all? Half of the time the people who go out from here are hanging out with other friends who are colleagues on the same campus. The men do NOT have to sign when they return, whatever time they do so. I on the other hand, have to sign in if I'm going for a movie, or a play, or even a work dinner...
What is the point of this? They say for security reasons? How is this register going to help anyone? if something untoward is to happen to anyone, how will this record help? Then it can be said that anyway she was someone who would go out every week? every weekend? every night? That then becomes another way by which the woman is blamed... As always, the onus is on the woman. I have to sign in...Maybe this will make me stay in more often... is this my place, anyway? safely locked up... so that no harm can befall me.
This came to me very starkly tonight which is why I decided to put this down. I am living in a hostel in an institute. I have lived in hostels for the past 10 years of my life, in various parts of the country, and each place has had its own regulations that i was expected to follow, which I did. I am by nature a "good girl", I follow rules, listen to authority and sometimes to my own detriment, am unable to assert myself. However, for various reasons, internally I have always believed in the fact that I am no less than anyone else. Everyone tells me different,"You're a girl", "you're from the north east", "You're small"... and so on and so forth. I have had parents who have never let me feel less, and friends who have supported this throughout... That's not to say that I'm foolhardy... no, I'm very careful and can give anyone tips on handling themselves and ensuring that one takes care of oneself...
I'm sorry I digress( Not an unusual situation if you have ever read my blog). Anyway, back to my point... I had to move out of my hostel last year and got alternative accommodation in another hostel on campus. That used to be a co-ed hostel, however when I shifted there along with others, it housed girls and married couples. So a few men, but they were married... now earlier, given that it was a co-ed hostel, anyone could enter it (read=male & female). However, once we shifted there, we were told that we could not have male friends entering. If they were visiting the married couples, then that was fine, however no male was supposed to enter the girls' areas. never mind that these two spaces overlapped. This was however perfectly sensible to the powers that be.
Now back to tonight, I had gone out to visit a friends' place on campus and he dropped me back after i spent the evening with his family. When I entered, I was asked to sign in a register as to the time that I entered the hostel, the time I left, and the reason... This last one flabbergasted me... who decided this was something I was supposed to share? Why was it relevant at all? Half of the time the people who go out from here are hanging out with other friends who are colleagues on the same campus. The men do NOT have to sign when they return, whatever time they do so. I on the other hand, have to sign in if I'm going for a movie, or a play, or even a work dinner...
What is the point of this? They say for security reasons? How is this register going to help anyone? if something untoward is to happen to anyone, how will this record help? Then it can be said that anyway she was someone who would go out every week? every weekend? every night? That then becomes another way by which the woman is blamed... As always, the onus is on the woman. I have to sign in...Maybe this will make me stay in more often... is this my place, anyway? safely locked up... so that no harm can befall me.
